UNIONIST politicians and those who vote for them have confirmed that democracy has its limits and must be reconsidered after Sinn Féin saw their vote rise during local elections.
“A majority in Northern Ireland, from a particular community, enjoying a majority of the vote? You might as well be talking about Mao Tse Tung’s heyday! » said a UUP politician who had no problem with decades of conspiring to use politics in Northern Ireland to oppress a community.
« Is this legal? » asked a Union voter after Sinn Féin won seats in the Union strongholds of Ballymena and Coleraine for the first time.
Reacting to the news that Sinn Féin is the largest party at council level, as well as in Stormont, the DUP have suggested that if the nationalists continue to multiply, a weighted voting system should be introduced.
“We love democracy, surely it is in the name of our party. Democracy works best when it means we refuse to return to Stormont to do our jobs. Having said that, for democracy to be fair, it should never result in the scenario where unionists are in the minority, therefore we are proposing that one unionist vote now counts as ten votes,” said a DUP nobody.
Elsewhere, nationalists reported that the 24 hours spent watching Arlene Foster shit a brick on GB News surpasses the comic genius of Derry Girls.