IF you thought the OceanGate tragedy would serve as a warning to billionaires about the dangers of risking life and limb for the kind of experience that costs more than most proles’ houses, think again; in fact, hundreds of the world’s richest people have expressed an interest in being pulverized by the pressures of the fathomless depths.
“Being someone who lost their life while traveling to the depths of the ocean in a metal tube controlled by a third-party Xbox joystick is currently the most exclusive club in the world,” explained one expert on the inexplicable behavior of billionaires.
“Far from scaring these men off, by the way, he is almost 100% male, instead he has started a conversation about what is the most appropriate way for a billionaire to die. These are people who are living life to the next level and suddenly the idea of dying at home as a senior surrounded by loved ones is no longer appealing. If five extremely wealthy people can be immortalized by being squashed together into the size of a Kinder Surprise egg, then the question is « how do I die? ». Fall off Everest? Did your genetically modified butler monkey bite your face? Who can die better?
At the same time, OceanGate will continue to run its expeditions to the wreck of the Titanic, although Tripadvisor advertising and reviews now boast that the voyage offers the most authentic experience of the doomed liner imaginable.
In fact, « You probably never thought you could add your name to the list of bodies resting on the ocean floor alongside the most famous ship in history, but dude, you’re dead wrong! » It is proposed as the new selling point of the company.