IS THERE a story or problem that just won’t go away but you want the media, opposition politicians and the public to stop and focus on how you are failing on all other fronts too? Well, you’re in luck because WWN has one of those guides for a government in need.
It’s simple, if you’re constantly intimidated about how the stench of corruption follows certain coalition members wherever they go, here are some simple distractions:
Pray and hope that some crazy family as a bag of spiders is acting like a crazy monkey wrench in court today.
Claim responsibility for a drone attack on the Kremlin.
Draw attention to the fact that zero cost rental houses are currently being built in Dublin City.
Oh look, Sinn Fein!
Deport Donald Trump.
Learn the ‘what’s that behind your ear’ magic trick.
When asked again by an opposition TD that the Dáil be allowed to question a government minister, he got the Taoiseach to use the Dáil’s privilege to pretend that the opposition TD is, in fact, Josef fucking Fritzl.
Activate all fire alarms across the country at the same time.
These distractions also work for the following problems:
The failure to pass a bill some twenty years after a law was introduced to allow investigations into councils that could act as a deterrent against corruption.
When you hand out 1,000 million euros in payments and incentives to developers to reduce costs but house prices continue to rise.
Not enacting the proposed law reforms for the first time in 2011.
Exclude 40% of the survivors of the mother and baby home from the compensation plan.
By declaring that he has little interest in implementing any recommendations on abortion care in Ireland.
Whenever the next report details how poorly supported victims of domestic abuse are.
When you are fined for not meeting carbon emission reduction targets.